Thursday, October 11, 2007

Week 5 (0-5)


I have absolutely nothing to say. (Well maybe just a little bit) This just sucks. The fantasy gods must be fabulously beautiful goddess, because they are some of the cruelest of bitches. I lost by one fucking point this week. 1 point! OH IT HURTS SO BAD.
This was my week. I had it in the the bank. All of Jaymin's team had played, and I just needed 16 points to win. It was all gravy when the only player i had left got 14 points by the end of the first half. It was done, all he needed was a twenty yard catch and I was well on my way to the getting that first W. I was relieved, kicked back a bit, started daydreaming all the ways i would celebrate my first win. And then the second half started without... Jennings.

"In the locker room with a shoulder injury, return is questionable," the sideline reporter said. I gave up all hope. resided that i would and always be a loser. Thought about all the ways i could hide from the world (or the league). and then, when the Chicago bears got the lead in the Fourth quarter; with two minutes left in the game, Greg Jennings came back. This was when i knew, that my season was meant for a rebound. This was the beginning of a storied comeback that Frave is a legend for, and this was the storied comeback that Jennings was destined for, and this was the beginning of my own comeback to win this game and eventually this stupid league. And then... NOthing. Game over. Greg Jennings didn't get so much as a head nod from Frave. I had lost by one point. one point fifty three points to be exact.

Now i'm in no man's land. NOt even the rapist himself, eric, has been where i am right now. O- 5. I'm threading my own path ast they say. It's not scary being 0-5, it's plain annoying, cuz now i got to lizten to the inevitable snickering behind my back about my managerial skills. It's really just the last place any fantasy football vet like myself would want to be, but here i am. and it really sucks. however, one good has come out of all this losing, in one of my many recurring depressive fantasy football bouts last week, i realized there's money to be made from misery. If only there was a national hotline for winless fantasy football owners, and if it charged $1.99 per minute, the owner of this hotline would be rich, rich, rich!!!! why can't it be me? stupider and more nonessential things have been profited on, why not a hotline that saves borderline fantasy losers from what the japanese phone-net-tic-cal-ly pronounce "(Har-rah-kee-ree)."

It's a mission that will prolong the existence of many fantasy football leagues. I know this would work because i myself feel the need for paid-telephone operators to emotionally support me in this time of great fantasy fear. That is the only good that has come out of being 0-5, this, and the fact that i'm going to be matched-up this week against khai's team. Those are the two only positive so far.

standing:
1.hon (4-1)
2.david (4-1)
3.eric (3-2)
4.khai (3-2)
5.hung (3-2)
6.mike (2-3)
7.albert (2-3)
8.jaymin (2-3)
9.sammy (2-3)
10.moi (0-5)

Viagara"s Longest man of the week is: ( *gay*) / 94.63 inches

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